Archos 5 Internet Tablet

20 Jun 2011

Luggage space! There is simply never enough of in on a motorcycle, but that by itself is one of the attractions of motorcycling: carrying just what you need, not everything ever made. With that in mind, I set about locating a device for my trip though Europe that would be able to perform many functions and that would be small. The key requirements were:

Size - no point taking something if there's no space for it
Weight - weight affects a bike's handling and performance directly, so again, this is at a premium
Storage - I take a lot of photos, shoot a lot of video, and have a lot of music, so I need storage, and lots of it
WIFI - not really required, but would be nice
Media - the device should be able play and display many different file types
GPS - not sily 3G GPS, normal proper GPS using satellites
Flash - Internet without Flash is silly. Sorry about that iFad users
USB - all devices should be equipped with USB. Sorry about that iFad users

Armed with that shopping list, I set out to find myself a device that would fit the bill, and I came across the Archos A5 Internet Tablet. But I wish I hadn't.

I'd firstly like to mention that the expression 'tablet' is a complete wank, but regardless, consumers have been able to purchase tablet style devices for about 20000 years now, but as most consumers follow the rest of the herd, they didn't seem to take off at all until Apple told everyone to start buying the iFad. The A5 appeared to satisfy everything on my shopping list:

Dimensions - the A5 is small, chunky and light. It houses a 6.35 cm laptop hard drive (that's about 2.5 inches for those living in backwards countries), so its dimensions are really constrained by that
Storage - the A5's biggest capacity model is 500 GB, which is big storage to have in your pocket in anyone's language
WIFI - yes, WIFI is included, however it is temperamental, unreliable, and generally quite slow
Media - the device will play back *some* video formats, but most I have found are unsupported. It refuses to play back my GoPro videos, as the resolution is too large, and requires too much processing power. The included media applications are annoying and unintuitive
GPS - real, proper, actual GPS that works with satellites is included with the A5, meaning that you will be able to work out where you are, regardless of mobile reception. Once GPS has established a lock (which can take anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes), it is slow, unreliable, and unresponsive
Flash - yes! Flash appears to be supported and included
USB - which the addition of a clip-on accessory, the A5 can be turned into a USB hub. This feature is simply awesome for connecting and pulling files off cameras on the road, and as tested is very effective. Just be prepared to sit about for hours waiting for the A5 to update its media library every time something is modified on the device. I took almost 2000 photos at the 2011 Catalunya MotoGP, so retrieving these at the end of the day took an age, and was very annoying

Initially, I was extremely pleased with the A5; it did everything I would asking for, and a little bit more. "What's that?" nosey people in the office would ask as they walked by my desk. "Oh, this? It's called an 'Archos 5', and it's just like an iFad, except it's useful".

But after the shiny had worn off, the annoying quibbles kicked in, and I started to see the device for what it was: an unfinished, poorly built, poorly supported, badly designed, unresponsive, unreliable lump of frustration and misery, disguised as a silver bullet tablet dream machine.

And this is generally how much I see of my A5

So where do I start my hatchet job? Should I detail every flaw of the device, or should I just mention that the first unit shipped broke, and after much faffing about, the replacement unit they shipped me *also* broke?

Quite often the A5 restarts for no reason. I'd had it restart, format itself, and then request an update file. Naturally, all the files on the system are unrecoverable.

Naturally, Archos themselves will point to their EULA and offer explanations such as "sometimes things just go wrong". How Information Technology is that? I.T. must be the only industry out there where it is expected that things will break, and that's OK. I.T. must be the only industry that deliberately hides behind End User License Agreements, Fair Use Policies and other such rubbish red-tape in order to shirk responsibility:

Archos: "Sometimes things just go wrong. We can't help it if the hard drive breaks."

Me: "How often does Archos think I'm going to be able to afford to travel to Australia to Spain to photograph mountains, only to have my photos swallowed by hardware failure?"

Archos: "EULA."

This is just rubbish. It's about time we started demanding more from the I.T. industry, especially when we entrust our data to them. No, it is not OK if your device fucks up, and my files are destroyed. No, it's not OK if I can't perform a transaction online because some fool has tripped over an RJ45 cable and pulled switches out of your system. No, it's not OK if we try and send an email and it's not delivered because "something just went wrong". If you are in the business of manufacturing a device or software that stores, transfers, or manipulates data in any form, then you should be liable, at least for a minimum period of time. The onus should be placed on *your* business to provide predictable, reliable, responsive hardware and services, and to treat other people's data with the respect it deserves.

Can you imagine what kind of world we would live in if every company acted like this? How far would the aviation industry advanced if Boeing responded with "sometimes things just go wrong" or "you should have made a back-up" every time one of their planes fell out of the sky? Would man have ever landed on the moon? Even the humble automobile can be purchased with minimum warranty on various major parts of the vehicle, such as drive train etc. Note that these warranties will not cover perishables, such as disc brakes, tyres and the like. One could argue that a hard drive is a perishable device, however this is simply not the case when a device is performing a storage operation, as is now dealing with external information, and not simply doing one job, like a tyre does for example.

Programmers have a huge amount to do with how unreliable a lot of hardware is, and after watching the industry grow and introduce concepts such as Agile, this problem is only going to get worse, as software engineers seem to think that implementing *more* moving parts, rather than less, is the way to solve the issues of the world.

Apart from the defective hard drives, faulty operating system, slow and unreliable WIFI, media library applications, GPS, and charge time, stupid proprietary USB connection, silly software market/application store, horrendous technical support and customer service, the A5 is brilliant!

But flawed. And very flawed indeed.

Unfortunately, purchasing software or hardware does not guarantee you support at all. I have been given the round around by Archos like you would not believe, they have ignored emails for weeks on end, replied telling me that "there is nothing we can do for you", and have generally been useless. Now, in my mind, this must be illegal. Surely a guarantee or warranty is a legally binding agreement entered into by both parties when an exchange of goods for hard earned cash takes place. Archos offered me yet another replacement unit, however I don't want another unit (why would I? I have plastic bags here that have survived my 22'000 km journey, making them FOUR TIMES more reliable) so I am seeking a refund for the unit, and associated hardware and software purchased, which totals near €500. If you are thinking of purchasing this device, or anything from this shoddy, two-bit, dodgy, irresponsible, criminal organisation, then I'd think long and hard about it.

Put another way: it's your funeral.